Robinson Crusoe by Daniel DeFoe
Genre: Classics
Blurb (on back of book):
'A raging wave, mountain-like, came rowling a-stern of us...we were all swallowed up in a moment. The sole survivor of a shipwreck, Robinson Crusoe is washed up on a desert island. In his journal he chronicles his daily battle to stay alive, as he conquers isolation, fashions shelter and clothes, first encounters another human being and fights off cannibals and mutineers. With Robinson Crusoe, Defoe wrote what is regarded as the first English novel, and created one of the most popular and enduring myths in literature. Written in an age of exploration and enterprise, it has been variously interpreted as an embodiment of British imperialist values, as a portrayal of 'natural man' or as a moral fable. But above all it is a brilliant narrative, depicting Crusoe's transformation from terrified survivor to self-sufficient master of his island.
This edition contains a full chronology of Defoe's life and times, explanatory notes, glossary and a critical introduction discussing Robinson Crusoe as a pioneering work of modern psychological realism.
MY OPINION: *
I don't even know where to start with this book. First things first, as you can tell by my rating, I personally thought this was in my top ten least favorite books of all time. I found nothing in it that redeemed it to a point where I was inclined to at least bump it up to a two-star rating. It's a close contender with Orwell's 1984 (which we all know I despised as well) for least favorite classic.
I had this on my list of books to never read because nothing about it, absolutely NOTHING about it, intrigues me. However, it was the first required novel for my English lit class and I was forced to not only buy a copy of this despised book but read the whole thing in one week (which did not happen). Now, normally, I can finish a book in three days maximum, especially considering the shorter length of this book compared to some others, but this one took me what felt like years. My roommates in college will tell you: I would complain about the book all night long and be constantly struggling to read literally ONE page. My version of the book had zero chapters so it was just one long consecutive brick and I simply couldn't do it. I even tried out AUDIOBOOKS for the first time (and last time).
Okay so. I am a hater to my core. Get ready for a hate-filled rant because I'm bored and am procrastinating doing my homework.
First things first. This was simply the most boring book I've ever read in my entire life. Now, I normally love classics. I consider myself a classics aficionado. Jane Austen? Yes, please. Oscar Wilde? Love of my life. But no, this book was the most mundane, boring, dragging on piece of work and the 250 pages or however long it was felt like I was reading a Russian novel (and we all know how long those are). This man never shut up. He would say the same things over and over and over again and you'd be like, why is he STILL talking? It was like I was reading someone's grocery list that happened to be 250 pages. Oh, look, he built a fence. Oh, look he's fishing. Oh, look, he's building another fence. OMG, is he really fishing?? Like, please. It went on and on and on and on and on and on and on and for like a good 70% of the book, NOTHING HAPPENED. NOTHING. Somehow the man never gets bored but you know who was? ME. I WAS VERY BORED.
Second, I understand the context of this book. I'm literally a history major so don't even come at me with your contextual blah blah. The amount of references to slavery, indigenous people as "uncivilized" and "barbarous" and the entire Friday situation was revolting to read about. I was reading about a man who literally gets stranded on a desert island AFTER HE SETS OUT TO GO LOOK FOR ENSLAVED PEOPLES FOR HIS PLANTATION IN BRAZIL. Like, the ENTIRE PREMISE IS BUILT ON SLAVERY AND I CANNOT DO THIS TODAY. His isolation and trauma for 28 years serves him right. I understand that this was the height of the Atlantic slave trade and this was normal for white European men to go sail out and "find slaves" but personally, I did not want to read an entire book about it.
FRIDAY. THIS MAN TAKES A RANDOM PERSON, DOES NOT ASK FOR HIS NAME ONCE, DUBS HIM "FRIDAY" AND CONVERTS HIM TO CHRISTIANITY. When Friday points out some "wrong" things with Christianity, this man DOES NOT EVEN ANSWER AND JUST PRETENDS NOT TO HEAR HIM. Now, obviously, I preach religious tolerance. I support people's right to believe what they want. HOWEVER, THIS IS YOUR PERSONAL DECISION TO CHOOSE WHICH FAITH TO FOLLOW OR NOT TO FOLLOW AND I SHOULD NOT HAVE TO READ ABOUT A MAN WHO CONVERTS AN INNOCENT MAN TO CHRISTIANITY JUST BECAUSE IT'S THE "CIVILIZED" FAITH.
Moving on.
Going on from the Christianity bit, this man spends like half the book trying to tell readers why Christianity and God is amazing and good and you should 100% convert! Now, again, I understand the context, I understand that DeFoe was a religious dissenter and religion meant a lot to him, but reading this from a MODERN STANDPOINT, I was not at all excited to read about some man trying to Christianize all his readers. Robinson starts out literally forgetting his faith and kind of ignoring it all, and then goes on several rants about how once he remembers his faith and starts praying again, all the good things happen to him EVEN THOUGH HE IS STILL ON A DESERTED ISLAND. The entire thing read like I was reading a mission statement of the various Christians who tried to convert everyone to their faith. I was not here for it.
The fact that we spend 28 years of this man and he does not get bored once and instead learns to find his faith again and thus is magically saved after almost THREE decades.
No.
The whole seeing-the-footprint thing was the first time I saw any action in this book at all. Even then, it took five years for it to come to fruition. My professor spent like an hour talking about it and what it symbolized but quite realistically, this man just saw a footprint and was scared. Like, please, let's not read any more into it than that.
The entire portrayal of the Caribbean "Indians" or indigenous peoples who come to the island as CANNIBALS stressed me out. I am not sure if this is historically accurate or not but even so, the fact that they were painted as the villains from this white man's perspective when he literally spends the second half of the book just shooting them did not sit well with me.
The ending made me laugh. This man clearly learned nothing in his 28 years except to follow God's will. He just goes right back to where he was in the beginning and there is basically zero character development except him reclaiming his faith. The wolves made me laugh, tbh. Why was I reading an entire chapter of them almost getting eaten by wolves?
Everything in this book was so unnecessary. I saw no merit to it at all. I understand that it led to various later stories with this same trope and blah blah blah. But personally, this book was so horrible that I don't understand how anyone could be INSPIRED by it enough to write their own tale. Like please, spare me. I love Swiss Family Robinson but other than that, RC did not need to be written. I'm sorry. The white savior attitude, the white maleness of the whole book, and basically everything else about it was sickening to me. I only finished this book because I was determined and because I was excited to write this hate review because those are the best ones.
Are we even going to talk about the DANCING BEAR?
Goodbye. I don't recommend this book to anyone. If you have to read it for class, simply don't. Spark Notes it because I wouldn't want anyone else to undergo the years of torture I felt like I went through simply endeavoring to finish this hell of a book.
Main Character: Robinson Crusoe
Sidekick(s): "Friday," Spaniard, etc
Villain(s): Isolation, lack of faith, the "native cannibals" (I guess)
Classics Elements: This is the "first English novel" (except not really).
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