You Asked for Perfect by Laura Silverman
Genre: Realistic Fiction
Blurb (on back of book):
For fans of History is All You Left Me and Love, Hate and Other Filters comes a new and timely novel from Laura Silverman about a teen's struggle when academic success and happiness pull him in opposite directions.
Senior Ariel Stone is the perfect college applicant: first chair violin, dedicated community volunteer, and expected valedictorian. He works hard—really hard—to make his life look effortless. A failed Calculus quiz is not part of that plan. Not when he's number one. Not when his peers can smell weakness like a freshman's body spray.
Figuring a few all-nighters will preserve his class rank, Ariel throws himself into studying. His friends will understand if he skips a few plans, and he can sleep when he graduates. Except Ariel's grade continues to slide. Reluctantly, he gets a tutor. Amir and Ariel have never gotten along, but Amir excels in Calculus, and Ariel is out of options.
Ariel may not like Calc, but he might like Amir. Except adding a new relationship to his long list of commitments may just push him past his limit.
MY OPINION: ******
Gosh, reading a genuinely extraordinary, beautiful, wonderful book is so rare these days. It has almost been half a year of 2020 and there are barely any five- or six-star books that I have read thus far. The last good book I read was Casey McQuiston's
Red, White, and Royal Blue until this one.
Let me just tell you: I genuinely adored this book.
I read a bunch of reviews about it before starting this book. The average rating is not the highest and a lot of people did not seem to enjoy it so I was hesitant about it and did not have very high expectations. However, everything was changed within the first 5% of the book (I was reading via Kindle) and my view of it was completely different. I tried my best to go in to it with an open mind after realizing that this book was not at all the awful, not-so-realistic book that a bunch of my friends on Goodreads had described. Obviously, this book, like all others, is not for everyone but for me personally, it really clicked.
I was raving about this book to my friends before I was even 10% in. I was highlighting quotes left and right. I was writing little notes about the funny parts or the relatable parts.
Maybe it's because I'm in high-school and I'm a very academically-driven teen, but
everything in this book seemed so true. For an adult, a child, or a less academics-influenced person, this book might not mean as much. But to me, I really learned so much.
The book centers around an academically-centered, set-to-be-valedictorian, six-AP-classes boy named Ariel. His entire life, he has dreamed of going to Harvard and he is on the perfect way there. Academics? Check. He's been a straight-A student all throughout high school and has taken as many AP classes as he possibly could to get the highest possible GPA to beat out his enemy/friend for the spot of valedictorian. He even mentions finding an extra online class to take just to boost his GPA. Extracurriculars? Check. He is First Chair in Orchestra and plays the violin. He also joins his friend's band as a violinist, though it's against his will and the true motives are to help his friend and to have something on his college application.
However, Ariel receives ONE failed grade in Calculus and suddenly his entire life is in jeopardy. He could lose valedictorian because his highest possible grade in the class is a 97.5%. Everything is changed for him and there's no way to fix it. His counselor recommends that he either drop a class or get a tutor. He chooses the latter and we meet Amir, the tutor and love interest.
Before I continue, I want to talk about the mental health aspect of this book. It was refreshing to see a book that recognized the pressure that schools put us under and how real and detrimental it truly is on teenager's still-developing brains. I love learning, I love knowledge, and I love a lot of my classes. However, the pressure that school puts on me and so many other students is appalling. We shouldn't be focusing on tests and GPA scores and trying to get the highest SAT score just to get into a good college. There's a quote in this book that truly resonated with me and with a lot of other students, I'm sure.
I used to like school. That burst of satisfaction when new material clicks. The competitive gratification of finishing a test first, knowing you got everything right. But there’s nothing to enjoy when a failing grade is staring you in the face."
In all honesty, this book had so many good quotes that this review might have a whole bunch of them interspersed throughout.
But the quote I mentioned right above is so true. In elementary and middle school, I truly enjoyed going to school. I used to love learning new things. But now, the grades are all that seem to matter. We are tested and drilled and forced to memorize things that we forget as soon as the tests are over. I was homeschooled all throughout elementary school and those were some of the best years of my academic life because I truly thrived in a learning-based environment with no tests, no stress, no pressure.
"If only he knew that one quiz threatens more than three years of relentless work."
We are slaving our lives away trying to perform well and one small thing like a slip-up or a mistake can mess up everything. SPOILER There's a point where Ariel struggles to hold back tears while trying to ask his teacher for a make-up or extra credit, and there is nothing I have ever related to more in my entire life. I am guilty of having cried in front of teachers because it's just so unfair that one small mistake can mess up my entire future. END SPOILER
I loved how this book portrayed the detrimental effects of school on mental health. I've cried countless numbers of times because of one bad test grade, one bad class debate, one bad final grade. In the long run, will these numbers actually mean anything? I don't mean to bash the public school system but there have been times where I have not felt at all happy or healthy because of my struggle to do well. School has become a competition. I want to get into a "great" college which is my basic motivation behind everything I do for school, just like Ariel. However,
the effects of the self-imposed stress that Ariel puts himself under is so undeniably real and true.
We as teenagers these days are expected to have gone to the Olympics, written and published a novel, won a Mathletes tournament championship at the national level, figure out the answer to some impossible-to-solve problem, and also get in school, sports, homework, eating, and eight hours of sleep. This is impossible. I thought college was a place where you go to learn HOW to do great things, not where you go after you have ALREADY done great things.
"No one told me I’d have to know every answer to every test and also be a “unique individual” following my life’s calling at seventeen."
I loved how this book doesn't glamorize perfectionism. I have always struggled with trying to be perfect in what I do, what I write, how I act, perform, talk, live. I truly understood the pain that Ariel felt at having to try to do everything all at once when there is simply no time left. He's pulling all-nighters left and right, he's struggling, he's sacrificing the relationships that could really be important to him later in life, and for what?
"But I’m not special. I’m not smart enough. I put on a front, and now it’s catching up to me."
This quote really stood out to me. I have always tried to do my best and perform at the highest level that I could but after reading this book, I've realized that sometimes it is okay to take a deep breath and just pause. Even though I'm trying so hard, there is always going to be someone out there who is better than me, stronger than me, smarter than me. AND THAT'S OKAY. It's important to realize your own self-worth and how you shouldn't have to sacrifice your own self just to please others.
NOW
On to the romance
I've spent WAY longer than I expected talking about the mental health aspect of the book that I almost forgot about one of my favorite parts!
Ariel and Amir were the cutest, most authentic, most adorable couple I've read about in a long time. I loved the way they balanced each other out at all times. Both boys are openly bisexual and gay, exclusively, which was refreshing because a lot of the books I've read about the LGBTQ+ community lately have been about people who are experimenting or did not know they were gay/bi/trans/etc (THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH EXPERIMENTING. I just found it different and interesting that they were already fairly sure of their sexual orientations). Ariel isn't completely satisfied with who he is because he doesn't fit into one or the other orientation.
"I knew bisexuality was a thing, but I guess I wanted it to be simple: straight or gay."
However, I love how he got to explore his own romantic interests with Amir, who is a complete and utter adorkable Harry-Potter-loving nerd.
The relationship between Ariel and Amir were pure butterflies and fluffy unicorns. I smiled every time they were together and I love them so incredibly much. Their first kiss is so beautifully-written that I just can't stop fangirling about it!
The diversity in this book is amazing. Our protagonist is a bisexual, Jewish teenager, and many Jewish holidays and customs are interspersed throughout the book that I found very interesting to learn more about. The love interest is a gay, Muslim (I believe) teenager, the best friend is a lesbian, band-playing, badass girl, and the entire book is just so varied instead of the same boring cut-out characters as many books I've read.
I'm sorry this review has gone on for so long. I just loved this book too darn much to not talk about every single feeling I had about it. If you are stuck in an Ariel situation, please please please know that it is okay to sit down and pause and breathe. I've learned this over the years and especially now as I have been cramming for my AP test on Wednesday. What happens happens and we shouldn't have to lie to others or ourselves about our grades, our mental health, our feelings, and everything else that comes along with too much stress.
I would highly recommend this book to ALL readers looking for an exceptional, beautiful, wonderful, splendid, accurate, real, honest, and truthful depiction of the stress that comes with being too focused on school instead of mental health. Check out my Kindle Quotes to see some of my other notes and favorite lines from the book :)
Main Character: Ariel
Sidekick(s): Amir, etc
Villain(s): Stress, grades, school, etc
Realistic Fiction Elements: This book was entirely real to life.
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